One Thought at a Time
by SarkastinenNasse
Summary: KaiReioneshot, slight fluff. Sometimes it would be just better to enjoy the silence.


Konnichiwa. My fist KaiRei-fic in english, yayy! There might be some mistakes, but try to bear with me. Special thanks goes to Kelirehenna, a great friend of mine who helped me with this fic, arigatouuu! bows

Now about the fic I have nothing very important to say. It's just an short drabble which I wrote due to lack of sleep.. seriously, I can't even remember clearly writing it :D

Well... I can't figure what else to say... for those who take time to read this, hope ya enjoy o/

Kai saw Rei sitting on the top of the hill, as usual. He smiled to himself, for no particular reason. Maybe he was just happy to see the other boy.

Kai started climbing through the thick hay, leaving a broad trail behind him. The rustle caught Rei's attention, and he turned his to look at the approaching boy, greeting him with a gentle smile. Once Kai reached the spot where Rei was sitting, he joined the other silently. There was no need for words.

They sat there quietly for a while and watched as the clouds passed slowly by. This was like their secret spot, or maybe in there, it felt like the whole world had disappeared, leaving the two silent figures only living things left. But no matter which was the truth, it was relaxing to just sit there, and cherish the moments of peace in his heart.

"Naa, Kai…" Rei finally said in a quiet tone.

"Hmm?" Kai didn't bother to take his eyes off from particularly interestingly shaped cloud.

"How do you want to die?"

Finally he looked at the neko-jin; that hadn't been the question he had been expecting. Rei had his gaze fixed upon something in the distance that Kai could not see. He had never been able to see things like Rei.

"What? You're thinking stuff like that?"

The other nodded, his golden eyes thoughtful.

"I don't know.. happily I guess", Kai shrugged his shoulders and smiled awkwardly.

"Whaddya mean by that? Happiness?"

Rei had been thinking too much, way too much. Kai made an mental note not to leave the other alone for such a long periods of time.

"Gee, Rei… why don't you ask me the reason of life… that's easier to answer."

"I don't want to. Just answer to the question."

That stubborn, stubborn boy. Once again, Kai came to wonder why exactly did he love Rei. Though, the reason was clear. That _was_ why he loved the boy.

"Well… with you on my side, and my friends… I don't want to die alone. Nobody does. I don't want to die thinking that nobody ever loved me."

Kai had never meant to say all that, it was way too personal. But some thoughts are better said out loud, not left unsaid and nagging trought the subconscious.

"What if you couldn't have that? What if you were alone?"

"All alone? I'd drown. Lose myself inside my mind, fall back to that dark place where I once had to live. I don't want to go back there, Rei.I could die peacefully if I knew I hadn't been alone in this life, but to be alone… it's like hell. I couldn't take it for long."

Rei turned his head and smiled. Sitting there, he looked like an ethereal being, like an angel sent from above. Kai didn't smile back, though. He felt too exposed, stripped from his mask of indifference, having revealed his most intimate fears and thoughts. It didn't hurt as much as it would have if the person sitting next to him had been somebody else. Kai knew he could trust Rei completely.

"You know, you could still change that if you wanted. You wouldn't have to die alone, if you'd choose not to."

"Rei, that's not an question of choice!" Kai tried to explain. "Do you think that we being in love is because we deliberately chose so?"

"That is a totally different thing. All I'm trying to say is that we choose how we want to live our lives. If you feel like you're all alone and nobody loves or even cares about you, you can always change that. Or try to, at least."

"Rei, darling—"

Darling. The pet name Kai used only if he was seriously concerned for the mental state of his lover.

The wind had stopped. Suddenly there was nothing but the eerie silence.

"You don't get it! The path we walk along in this life isn't set for us, we set it ourselves. You can blame the gods or destiny if something bad happens, but in reality it's us who have the power to affect these things, one way or the other."

Kai fell silent for a long time, and Rei knew not to disturb him while he was thinking.

"Yeah", he said at last, and shifted in the grass. The neko-jin felt the warmth disappear by his side, when Kai stood up, looking to the horizon.

"I think I know what you mean", he spoke softly. The boy glanced at Rei and smiled, and the gentle breeze touched his grey hair. Then Kai held out an hand, and a flash of golden ring blazed in the sun for a second. Rei took the hand, and ring similar to Kai's was visible for a fleeting moment before Kai's hand closed around his. Rei got up to his feet, and Kai embraced him, not feeling doubt anymore. They shared a kiss; a tender one, and Kai whispered something against Rei's lips. They stayed that way for a while; a time which felt like hours, maybe even days. Nothing could be enough for them, they craved for each other too much.

At last, they broke apart, and started to make their way down, following the trail Kai had previously left, their hands entwined.

Well... yeah :D free cookies to those who review.


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